I haven't blogged in awhile, at least not about anything profound or important. Not that I have anything profound to blog about! These past few weeks I think I have been depressed. I haven't been feeling the best, lots of aches and pains which darvocet usually helps, but lately at the end of the day, everything just hurts. And I have been having a harder time breathing which is really scary. I don't want to say anything to anyone because they will just worry and it is not like anything can be done. I see my doc in a few weeks, so I wll see what he thinks. It is really an emotional rollercoaster. Being diagnosed with an illness that there isn't a cure for, and not much is known about and Robert Goulet died of just months ago is overwhelming at times. I try not to dwell on negative things, but lately I haven't been able to help it. I will be rocking Kayden and then begin to wonder if I will see him go off to school, play baseball, swim etc. And what will happen to my family? They really need me. Sometimes I will just find myself with tears rolling down my cheeks for no reason at all. Maybe I need to see a counselor, but what kind? Is there such a thing as death counseling??
Dj is going to be 18 on Sunday! My baby is grown up. He will be on crutches for at least 3 more weeks and then is physical therapy and hopefully back to work. Paying his bills is killing me. He has decided he wants to be an anestheologist. What a great ambition! He is going to be talking to a college advisor to see what classes he needs to start with. I am excited for him.
The girls all have their lives and their problems, but none to big that they aren't happy for the most part. Jen is a teller at B of A and on Saturday a woman came up to her window and whispered for her to call the police. She didn't know if it was a robbery or what so she asked the woman what she wanted. The woman told her to call the police because her husband had been smoking crack in the parking lot and said he was going to kill her. He was a couple of people behind her in line. So Jeni left her window, told the woman to stay there and called the police. Jen kept her at the window until they arrived. Thankfully nothing happened and the police took the guy into custody.
Our 25th anniversary is in July. We are planning on a trip, but haven't decided where yet. Any suggestions?
7 comments:
{{{{{{{{{{Teresa}}}}}}}} I'm so sorry for all you're going through. I know you want to remain strong for your family, but sharing your symptoms with them may be helpful for you and them. If you don't feel comfortable doing that, talking to a friend or a counselor might help.
Happy 18th Birthday D.J.!
Are you wanting to do a family trip or just a trip for you and dh?How much time will you be taking for the trip?
((((((Teresa))))))
Please find a counselor to talk to and know that you can always IM me if you need to vent or cry.
Happy 18th Birthday, DJ!!
As for a vacation, ummmm, how about NYC? I know a great tour guide ;)
Thanks Michelle and Toni. I really can't tell my family that I am afraid, I am the medical person and if I am afraid, they will panic. As far as the trip, we ideally would like to take 2 weeks and if budget permits, the family. We were thinking of going back to Maui, but may do a condo in San Diego. If it is just the two of us it will be a week and probably somewhere in the carribean.
{{{{{{{{{{{Teresa}}}}}}}}}}} I know what you mean. Having a serious illness makes you worry about a lot of things. Roger Ebert has the same kind of cancer that I had (have?) and I see him and worry about me. Everytime my throat hurts, or something feels off in my neck, I tend to panic and no, I don't tell anyone anymore because I don't want to be labeled a hypochondriac. I have my yearly CT scans, so I'm sure I'm ok, but the idea of a re-occurance of my cancer is always looming. You are living with your condition every day of your life. It's always there and it's scary. When it has to do with your breathing, you are aware of it every second of every day. Feel free to email me or IM me if you need to talk about it. I understand totally.
Congratulations on your 25th. Illinois is a fun place to go on your anniversary. . . .
Thanks Carrie!
Teresa, I understand your reasoning with not telling your family. It's hard being the *rock* sometimes. You can always vent with us though and share your concerns. Anytime!
Are you thinking of taking a cruise if it's just the two of you? That sounds like it would be relaxing and fun!
Teresa-
I know there are some excellent counselors at Hospice of the Valley.That may sound drastic- but maybe you can give them a call. I have several friends that have worked things through with them. There was an excellent woman counselor at St Josephs near where you live- Betty? My sister is not an active Catholic- but found her to be a great person of care.
Mostly, Know that you are in my prayers. We can only hope to be alive for our family.I know I hope the same thing.
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